Gardening with Margaret Matthews
Say it (appropriately) with flowers
by Margaret Matthews
Recently I wrote about the symbolism of flowers and now, after the tragedy of Bali, I am reiterating what I expressed about the way we use flowers to show our sympathy and grief. So I hope you will allow me to refresh your memory and mine.
We will never know when flowers were first placed on a grave, a funeral pyre or in a tomb. We do know that seeds have been found in archaeological sites many thousands of years BC; but we do not know the reason for doing so.
We also know that laurel wreaths were placed on the graves of the famous in Ancient Greece and Rome.
Flowers have always been a powerful symbol. They have an established place in most of the significant rituals in our lives. Birthdays, weddings and anniversaries, as well as funerals, are marked by floral tributes.
Strong smelling flowers and herbs were used during the black plague epidemics in Europe to help conceal bad odours. The nursery rhyme ‘Ring a ring of roses’ was not a simple childhood rhyme, but a macabre description of the progression of the plague, which was inevitably fatal.
Tussie Mussies were posies containing sweet-smelling flowers with a special meaning. They were often taken to the sick or presented by lovesick swains to the object of their affections. Elizabethan love poetry has many examples of tributes to a lady’s eyebrow or to other physical charms. It is still the custom to take flowers when visiting family or friends in hospital. There is no doubt that they do brighten and bring cheer to an often sterile environment. Recently there has been a move towards sending flowers or a plant to a bereaved family or donating towards research rather than spending on formal arrangements.
After the tragedy of Bali, the steps of Parliament House in Melbourne became the site of hundreds of floral tributes, an echo of those outside Kensington Palace when Princess Diana died.
On this occasion, however, the flood of flowers was triggered by a host on commercial radio. Most of these flowers had obviously come from the florists; many were still wrapped in tissue or cellophane, so that the flowers were invisible. Very few seemed to have been gathered from a private garden, perhaps another reflection on the commercialism of our time. The individual cost would have been considerable and the total cost a sum which could have purchased a significant quantity of medical supplies. No one doubts the sincerity of those offering their sympathy in this way, but surely it is misguided. After a few days it was announced that the flowers would be turned into mulch, presumably to be put to use on the parliamentary gardens. A sensible decision, as the only other beneficiary from this well-meaning, but surely misguided activity, would be the florists.
At other events both in Bali and Australia, a sprig of wattle was carried or worn by those attending memorial services. The idea of using a sprig of wattle as a symbol was initiated by Sir William Dean when he was Governor General and he and his wife attended a service for the young Australians who perished in a whitewater disaster in Lucerne a few years ago.
At another service, after two young men were fatally wounded at Monash University, fellow students each carried a single yellow rose. A touching but more restrained symbol of grief.
Flowers are a universal and beautiful way to express our feelings, but lavish expenditure on cut flowers that last only a few brief hours is surely a waste. A single flower can be more eloquent than a dozen expensive blooms.
I’ll get off my soapbox now, and wish you and your garden a peaceful Christmas.
As we water our gardens with hose in hand, let’s think of the farmers enduring this dreadful drought, and refrain from watering our neat little suburban patches of grass. Don’t water established trees, and water roses and other precious plants deeply and less often. This is one of the advantages of the hand-held hose: the water can be directed exactly where it is needed.
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